newVox .org

Speed is the word for Guinness Rishi as he powers his way through a giant 490 gram bottle of ketchup in just 39 seconds.

Guinness believes he holds the fastest time for drinking the world’s favourite condiment, which he sups through a straw.

His brand of choice is a toss up between Maggi or the more traditional Heinz.

And 67-year-old Guinness, from Delhi, India, doesn’t confine his talents to the world of tomato sauce.

He claims to hold 19 world titles and even changed his name - from Har Parkash to Guinness Rishi - in a bid to win over official record-keepers.

But so far none of his bizarre stunts have been recognised in the Guinness Book of Records.

Guinness puts his motivation down to the need to stand out in a country of over 1 billion people.

‘People consider me an extraordinary person, not an ordinary person,’ he said.

His records include ‘taking on the world’s oldest adoptee’, after he legally took custody of his 61-year-old brother-in-law.

Guiness also built the tallest sugar cube tower in the world, which stands at 64 inches.

He took his new name in 1991, after keeping a motor scooter in continuous motion for 1,001 hours for another bizarre record.

‘Persons who have no money wish to do something in their lives, so the poor people try to break records by their strength or their will,’ said Guinness, who is joint owner of an auto-parts factory.

The ketchup-crazed pensioner said he will continue to find new records to break until he achieves his dream of official recognition.

‘I hope to make my family proud,’ he said

‘My children feel they are more important in the field of business and money-making.

‘I have to show the family and the community that I am a professional person.’

Now Guinness is trying to find a way of combining eating chips with his ketchup-drinking record in the hope of attracting the attention of judges.

Woman takes a 2-year toilet break
Girlfriend was physically stuck to the seat —her skin had grown around it.
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

NESS CITY, Kan. - Deputies said a woman in western Kansas sat on her boyfriend’s toilet for two years, and they’re investigating whether she was mistreated.

Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said a man called his office last month to report that something was wrong with his girlfriend.

Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman’s skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.  (Read more…)

If you’re keen to establish your green credentials you can install solar panels or stick a wind turbine on your roof. Or you could become a patient of Dr Alan Bittner.

The leading Beverly Hills cosmetic surgeon claims to be saving the planet by using fat removed from clients in liposuction operations to power his 4×4 car.

According to Dr Bittner, his patients are more than happy to be involved in the extraordinary eco-friendly scheme. ‘The vast majority of my patients request that I use their fat for fuel  -  and I have more fat than I can use,’ he declared.

‘Not only do they get to lose their love handles or chubby belly, but they get to take part in saving the Earth.’

U.S. authorities are less impressed and have launched an inquiry into his claims that he is converting the waste fat into bio-diesel  -  or ‘lipodiesel’ as he calls it. (…More)

Holding anger is a poison…It eats you from inside…We think that by hating someone we hurt them…But hatred is a curved blade…and the harm we do to others…we also do to ourselves.
-Anon.

No matter how much progress our nation appears to have changed in the last fifty years, apparently some individuals are still living in the past.  Having lived in New Orleans for fifteen years, it both saddens and troubles me to read articles like this.  I often wondered why native New Orleanians described their city as “The city that care forgot.”  Now, I realize the true meaning of their descriptive terminology.  The following featured article, by A.C. Thompson, appeared in The Nation.   -james

Katrina’s Hidden Race War

The way Donnell Herrington tells it, there was no warning. One second he was trudging through the heat. The next he was lying prostrate on the pavement, his life spilling out of a hole in his throat, his body racked with pain, his vision blurred and distorted.

It was September 1, 2005, some three days after Hurricane Katrina crashed into New Orleans, and somebody had just blasted Herrington, who is African-American, with a shotgun. “I just hit the ground. I didn’t even know what happened,” recalls Herrington, a burly 32-year-old with a soft drawl.  (…Read more)